The One About the Inconsiderate Girlfriend

Dear Agnes:

Ho comes to da crib wid no money, so I says you betta gots my crack or mo money. Cause, slap me an abe, Ho! The T.J. hookers struttin’ on stage need their crotches filled, know what I’m sayin!! So I says, Don’t you gots love fo’ me no mo’ baby? Sheeeit, you my bitch, ain’t ya!? Don’t ya be runnin in here like buffy and jodi outta da projects wid nuthen. This ain’t yo crib do you see rats, roaches and an eviction notice.

What to doooo, sheeeit

Pimp Mac Daddy

Dear Pimp Mac,

Thank you for having the courage to write to me addressing a touchy subject. Nepotism has its downsides, but it also has its upsides. While the intricacies of day-to-day office relationships with family members can be quite damaging if problems are not addressed swiftly and directly, they can also lead to stronger bonds of trust between spouses and their children.

In your case, I’d like to address my answer and advise more fully in Jive. Please forgive me of some of it seems a little rusty, but believe me, I feel you, Boo.

I feel so’ry fo’ ya’ cuz’ it seems likes ya’ is real hurtin’ about dis…and it seems likes ya’ real love yo’ mama but, ah’ dink whut gots happened here be dat. Man!..yo’ mama be on some powa’ trip not only at wo’k but at crib too, she gots powa’ ova’ ya’ at wo’k and she gots powa’ ova’ yo’ emoshuns at crib, she knows dat ya’ gots’ta do nuthin t’keep ha’ and dis be whut be makin’ ha’ lose respect fo’ ya’, she obviously sees ya’ as bein’ weak and not some sucka she kin respect. Man! (I’m not sayin’ dis t’hurt ya’ even mo’e, it plum comes across dat way t’me in yo’ postin’) ah’ duzn’t know if ah’ have any advice t’cut dat gots’ta help ya’ but ah’ can say dis…Duzn’t beg, grovel o’ whine, she gots’ta plum look at all uh dat as mo’e weakness. You’s gots’ta stay strong and if nodin’ else rap it out wid her. Ah be baaad… You’s kin alway go and rap t’de main sucka’ upside ya’,(besides her) and let dem know de situashun. You’s dun didn’t say but gots ya’ wo’ked dere longa’ den she has? Just da damn way ya’ described ha’ aggressivness makes me dink dat she likess power. Ah be baaad… If ya’ real wanna keep ha’ ya’ gots’ta reestablish some radical powa’ o’ control but try t’keep it on an even level, nodin’ t’overpowerin’.

Peace out, Dog.

Your best friend,

July 4th, 2006